Literally Went Crazy

A week ago, I had a few list of stories that I wanted to share but there was no motivation in me to begin with. I was so depressed. But here I am… I guess I’m a “little” bit motivated, hehe.

Yesterday, I went crazy – “literally” I guess. Maybe because it was my Grandma’s burial and I still can’t accept the fact that she’s gone. I talked to my Mom through chikka and told her harsh words. I hurt her feelings I know and until now she’s still in pain. Then, I got pissed because it’s so hard to go to work without your own vehicle. We’re still processing the claim from the 2nd party’s Insurance Company (oh by the way, those who didn’t know, we had a vehicle accident last Sunday, we got rear-ended by stupid old cowboy). Then we got home, I called my Uncle and I started crying “again”…. I’ve been crying all night and day since my Grandma left the world. I told them how sorry I am for what I’ve said to Mama. I already asked an apology but she never said if she has forgiven me already. I know it takes time… but when? After the long talk with my Uncle, Shaun and I had a couple of Heineken, and then I took a short nap and woke up with a bad headache. We watched Star Wars Episode 1 and 2 then we went to bed. Yeah that was the boring and crazy time I had yesterday.

This morning when I woke up, I still had a bad headache. I fixed breakfast for Shaun and cleaned the house. But before that, I received a message from my Mom, telling me that the testimonial record that I made for my Grandma was played during the funeral mass, also they played my goodbye offer music for Lola while they’re bringing her to cemetery. And last night, I dreamed about my Grandma… I’ve been waiting for that time. Since she was gone, I never dreamed about her, but last night I did. That made me feel better and I know now that she’s happy. I guess she don’t really want me to worry too much and want me to accept that it was her time. Well… I let God take care of her… I’m sure she’ll be happier with God.

Well I guess that’s all for now. Got to finish my house cleaning and have a good night rest.

(Thanks for dropping by)